PUBLICATION:	Progress Press
DATE:	15 November 1995

Those seeking an alternative to the one-on-one introduction method sometimes opt for organised dinner parties, in which singles of both sex share food and friendship.

Hawthorn resident and director of Tablemates Brian Boyce organises dinner parties for three males and three females at a time.

He said people joined Tablemates for a range of reasons, not just to find a long-term partner.

“They may enjoy for an enjoyable night out, to avoid the hassles of the nightclub scene – the noise, the smoke, the aggression – to meet some new people and make new friends or to meet someone to form a relationship with,” he said.

Mr Boyce said people who joined singles dinner clubs needed help to meet people because they were new to a city, no longer felt comfortable at nightclubs or with a busy career that did not allow time for social contact.

Others joined a dinner club following the end of a long-term relationship, because their workmates were predominantly of the same sex or because friends had “paired off”.

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BRIAN BOYCE, 35, IS A SOCIAL ORGANISER FOR SINGLES.

PUBLICATION:	Melbourne Weekly
DATE:	1 October 1996

SUNDAY: I woke up and checked the papers for restaurant reviews – I’m always looking for good restaurants to send clients to. I organise dinners for singles. I mix and match half-a-dozen people and arrange for them to have dinner together. I organise at least six dinners a week. Later, I took my sister to see Small Faces at the Kino – I thought it was good. Afterwards, I saw two of my clients walking hand in hand. That’s nice. That afternoon I visited my brother, then watched some television and sent out a lot of correspondence to clients – I have over 300 active members.

MONDAY: Monday is my creative day, when I plan my dinners. I try to match like with like. I have six criteria – intelligence, sophistication, appearance, chattiness, ability to relax and alternative or conservative. The hardest people to match are the extremes – very dominant people, for example. I don’t attend the dinners myself. In between the creativity, I answered enquiries and sent out lots of letters. I played scrabble and watched the English soccer. I beat him by one point.

TUESDAY: I interviewed new clients today. I spend up to an hour with people, getting to know them. Most of the people that come to me are well educated and in their mid-twenties or over. I have the same number of men and women but I have to try harder to get the men. It’s interesting that more women than men come to me by word of mouth. I also interviewed for a part-time assistant.

WEDNESDAY: I watched the Dalai Lama’s speech to the National Press Club and took two calls from guys asking me what to wear for a dinner – the first time I’ve had such a call in three years. In the evening I went to The Boite in Fitzroy for an hour of Street Latin dancing. I love dancing – rock’n’ roll is my speciality.

FRIDAY: I took advantage of some blue sky with a lie down in the sun. Afterwards there were more letters, phone calls and arrangements. In the evening I went to the Stage – a club in Smith Street – to hear some African music. I bumped into another one of my members – I’d recommended the place to her. I don’t socialise with my members and, yes I do have a fiancée. For the record, I have at least two weddings to my credit with a third on the way. That really makes me feel good.

SATURDAY: Had an early morning appointment with my doctor, then went to the MCG to watch North Melbourne – North is my family’s team although I actually barrack for Collingwood. After the game I went to the Astor cinema to see Fargo and Trainspotting.

FOOTNOTES as at 4th March 2004

For the last six years Brian has maintained active membership at around 400 people.
Another 200 people are either ‘onhold’ because they have met someone through Tablemates or through another avenue.

Brian is now married to Swiss born Isabel and the couple had their first child in May 2004.

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LIFE GOES ON.

PUBLICATION:	The Melbourne Age
DATE:	12 June 1999

Maintaining social networks can be difficult following the death of a partner.

Lynne was born in Melbourne but moved interstate with her husband Stuart when he became ill. Following his death three years ago after 34 years of marriage, Lynne returned to Melbourne to be with her family. She has a good job as a personal assistant and she is active in her church. But relocating has had its ups and downs.

“I returned to Melbourne and I thought I had lots of friends,” she explains. But because they all related to me as a couple and my partner was gone, they stopped including me in their activities. In Sydney, our network of friends saw the pain we were going through with Stuart, accepted me and tried to help by keeping me active and getting me out. If I’d stayed, I think that support would have continued. But in Melbourne, I don’t have a life outside work.”

Now 50 and the mother of two adult sons, Lynne is keen to avoid the trap of comparing every potential new partner with a beloved spouse. “We had a happy marriage and Stuart spoilt me. But people who have been divorced do look at things differently from people who have been widowed. I went out to dinner with a widower who had remarried. The second marriage hadn’t worked out and he spent the whole evening talking bitterly about his second wife. I don’t want to be a shoulder to cry on. I want to get on with my life.”

Lynne would like to resume many of the interests she has been forced to put on hold as a single – entertaining, travel and even walking safely after dark. By trying to establish a new social network, she is determined to move forward.

Compiled with the assistance of Tablemates

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WHEN NORA MET CRAIG

PUBLICATION:	The Melbourne Age
DATE:	19 June 1999

I joined Tablemates because I thought it would make a good story. And because I was socially inept, over-modest, and most importantly, my Armenian mother was fretting.

When will you have boyfriend? It’s no good only study. You need good husband.”

“But mother, I’m not even thirty!”

“What are you talking? Soon no one will even look at you.”

“Then I’ll become a lesbian.”

“Why? Are you a lesbian.”

“No.”

“Then why do you say things like that? Just upsetting your mother?”

I joined Tablemates in the same manner that one might join the secret service. My sister Natasha and a few very, very close friends were the only people I told. And I made them promise not to laugh.

“Doreen! You promised not to laugh.”

“I’m not. It’s a chuckle.”

I decide to find new friends.

Meanwhile before he met me, Craig’s parents George and Carol Townsend sipped their tea and chatted in their house on the longest street in Ballarat.

“Oh, George, I nearly forgot. Craig telephoned when you were out.”

“And what did he have to say?”

“Well, he went out on another dinner date last night, but from what he was saying, I don’t think he is interested.”

Mr and Mrs Townsend nibbled on biscuits and rehearsed a few things they planned to tell Craig on his next visit.

“Craig, your mother and I have something to say. Go on, Carol, tell him.”

“Now listen, Craig, you’re never going to find Miss Ninety-Nine Per Cent. All you need is a woman with a nice smile.”

The dinners that I attended came with two guarantees – a complimentary glass of champagne and the inevitable engineer. Then there were doctors, lawyers, scientists, teachers, mathematicians, computer scientists, geologists, scientists, computer programmers, scientists and computer programmers. And, if I was lucky, an arty-farty.

There were always six of us – three men and three women. We sat boy-girl, boy-girl, used our serviettes, and delicately bypassed those topics that were deemed unsavory – politics, religion and computers. We also received invaluable advice on how to dress, where to park, and how not to hijack a conversation.

After my fourth dinner, I decide to get a cat and read a book called Solitude. Tablemates is forgotten, and a whole year speeds past. And then, quite unexpectedly, a letter arrives from Tablemates asking if I’m interested in another dinner. I needed a second opinion, and so I consulted my friend Suzanne, a staunch feminist and social worker.

“So what do you think? Should I go?”

Suzanne’s argument that “men-are-a-complete-waste-of-time” was brilliant. I walked her to the door.

“Thanks for dropping in, Suzanne. I’ll see you soon. Bye-bye, ma cherie.”

I went to find my cheque book.

I went to meet my fate on the 19 August 1998. I took two cold and flu tablets, three vitamin Cs and packed a bunch of tissues. I read the parking instructions: “If you have to, perhaps try Birdwood Avenue (the continuation of Park Street) which winds its way through the Botanic Gardens, although, after the first few parking bays, it becomes quite dark and may be wise to avoid venturing much further.”

My head was about to explode.

7.55pm at the Golden Triangle restaurant. It was a set-up – clinical; mapped-out; masterminded; pre-arranged and prepaid. Wearing smart casual and feeling unbalanced, I prayed for the first time since Catholic school.

“Dear God, you probably don’t remember me by now, but if you could just send a man with a decent pair of shoes, I’d be most appreciative. Thanks. Over and out.”

At 8.03pm, I saw the boots.

At 10.17pm, he’s a photographer.

Craig and I were living together within two weeks. Preposterous? Yes. Mr Townsend was exceptionally coy. Embarrassed. I told the world.

At a suburban bistro, I am halfway through reading the dessert menu.

“So tell me how exactly did you meet Craig?” asks Auntie Annie.

She is the fifth person to ask this week. I find the question repugnant.

"We met in aisle three at Safeway where we began discussing the merits of crunchy peanut butter.”

“Oh”

Craig looks at me and grins.

“No Nora, that’s not how we met.”

I try again.

“Sorry Auntie Annie, my mistake. What I meant to say was I met Craig on a tram when our tickets became stuck in the validation box after we actually tried to insert them at the same time.”

“Nora! Just tell the truth.”

“We met at a Jazz Club.”

Craig glares at me.

“Would you believe a dingy bar?”

This time, Craig is yelling.

“Say it!”

“Tablemates.”

I deliver it with the skill of a ventriloquist.

“What’s Tablemates?”

Flinch.

“Um, well, it’s a . . . tulip farm.”

I study Uncle Richard’s face and can tell that he doesn’t believe any of it – least of all the tulip farm.

I begin to harvest lint from my cardigan and wonder if it’s possible to redeem oneself with a bowl of communion wafers and ice cream.

An interjection.

“Well, my dear, I think it is time you told the truth.”

Oh, oh. When Uncle Richard uses his Inspector Clueso voice the game is always up.

The unvarnished truth.

I am standing at the counter of the convenience store with my soy drink.

“Aren’t you buying milk for Craig?” asks Noel, the owner.

“No, we’re not talking.”

“Well, you know Nora, I’ve been married to Marlene for 28 years. You have to take the good with the bad and the ugly.”

Noel watches as I drag my feet back to the fridge for milk. He’s right about the bad and the ugly.

In the past 10 months that we’ve been together, Craig developed insomnia. I got psoriasis. And eczema.

We’re recovering now, slowly. And in the meantime, we’ve learnt a lot – Craig can now sleep without a Doona, and I have learnt to cope with a few crumbs. Craig has weaned me off eating cereal for dinner. I have begun to accept that Craig will make mistakes, no matter how many times I repeat myself.

And the day that Craig decides to give me the keys to his Peugeot, I’ll consider marriage.

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VALENTINE FINDS HER HART.

PUBLICATION:	Herald Sun
DATE:	15 February 2000

It was the day June married her Valentine and David wed his sweet Hart. In a perfect match for Valentine’s Day, June Hart was wed to David Valentine.

The heart-warming story of how the pair became valentines began two years ago when they met through dinner club Tablemates.

It is love the second time around for David, 49, and June, 48.

The Burwood East couple have two adult children each, ranging ages from 19 to 22.

“They are coping very well indeed,” she said. “You can imagine all of the puns and humor.”

Mrs Valentine, who before yesterdays’ garden ceremony was Mrs Hart, said the union had created a lot of interest.

“People have all just wished us so well.” She said. The customers at work, everyone. It’s been terrific.

I had always joked with David, when we get married it would have to be on Valentine’s Day,” she said.

“I was joking it should be on the front page of Australian Bride: Hart Meets Valentine.”

Tablemates, where the couple met, is a club that arranges dinners for groups of three men and three women.

Brian Boyce, who began the service in 1994, said 70 long term relationships had been created through Tablemates.

Mrs Valentine said if people were interested in meeting someone again, it was arranged through Mr Boyce.

“It’s a civilized way of meeting and the worse thing that can happen is you have a good meal.”

FOOTNOTES as at 4th March 2004

Over 200 people are now in long term relationships thanks to Tablemates

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EATING OUT.

PUBLICATION:	The Sunday Herald Sun
DATE:	11 August 2002

Dates are deliciously tough. Maybe that’s why the first one is usually at the movies, where we can sit in the dark armed with popcorn and Coke without the pressure of too much talk. Surviving that, we usually stump up for dinner. That’s where things get serious and thorny problems can arise. Where do you go to impress but not be intimidated?

Brian Boyce, owner of dinner club for singles Tablemates says the most successful meal he ever had a hand in was when four singles he sent out for dinner resulted in two marriages. “But that’s rare”, he says. He screens the singles, putting together people who have common interests and backgrounds. Then you have to choose a restaurant that provides the right atmosphere. And it needs to have easy parking so that women don’t have to walk a long way to their car, alone and in the dark.

The Gurkhas Cottage is recommended by Brian for dates looking for some spice in the mix. The Nepalese dishes include goat curry with ginger, garlic and cinnamon. Vegetarian meals include the trekkers delight which is a platter of vegie tastes, among them lentils, coconut rice, fried Nepalese spinach and homemade chutney.

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FINDING YOUR PERFECT MATCH.

PUBLICATION:	The City Weekly
DATE:	22 May 2003

You’ve spent the last few years concentrating on work, study and travel. You have an education and a career. You’ve done the pub and nightclub scene and now you want to find something more meaningful. Tablemates is a great way to meet like-minded people in an easy, friendly environment. Tablemates, creator, Brian Boyce has spent nine years bringing people together, and spends 45 minutes with new clients to establish evenings for six people with shared experiences and ways of thinking. It’s a fun, low-pressure way to find friends and form relationships.

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TALES FROM THE TABLE.

PUBLICATION:	The Age
DATE:	18 Sep 2004

Recently the Melbourne-based singles dinner club Tablemates celebrated its tenth anniversary. For a decade founder and owner Brian Boyce has been matching groups of singles - three men and three women – for regular dinners at selected restaurants in inner-city Melbourne. In marking the Club’s anniversary Brian agreed to share with Singles File some of the more humorous incidents that have occurred over the years.

“One lady left her name for two chaps called Rod she met at Tablemates. A few days later one of the Rod’s phoned her and introduced himself. The woman chatted for an hour without knowing which Rod she was speaking to. This was nearly as confusing as the time when all three females at a Tablemates dinner were named Liz.

“Recently a man arrived a day late for a Tablemates dinner, introduced himself to the waiter, and was taken to another Dinner Club’s table. He enjoyed the dinner immensely, and later phoned in to leave his number for one of the women he met there!

“One member arrived at a restaurant one week early and found no Tablemates diners with whom to share his wine. After a clarifying phone call to us he went home and invited one of his friends - also a Tablemates member - and they had a lovely evening together.

“Tablemates strength is its quality matching. We have developed a computerised matching program to achieve the best results. However, some things are beyond the most sophisticated programming. I’ve reunited long lost school friends and even ex-partners. One night my matchings turned out a little bit ‘off’ when I sat a strict vegetarian with a meat exporter. Once, two cousins met for coffee one afternoon. They didn’t know they were both Tablemates members until 8pm that night when they discovered they were dining at the same table. But my favourite story is about the woman who discovered that not only had she bought a fellow diner’s family’s house but she now slept in his bedroom. They swapped numbers.

“Over the years, many relationships have been formed through Tablemates. Often I hear of these success stories via their friends, who subsequently join Tablemates. However, a few weeks ago I was invited to the wedding of two former Tablemates members. It’s wonderfully rewarding to witness the love and joy shared between two people you have helped to bring together.”

Contact Brian at Tablemates on 9885 8859 or visit http://www.tablemates.com

 

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HOW TO BE A MATCHMAKER.

PUBLICATION:	Sunday Age
DATE:	14 Nov 2004

If you want to know what your friends really think of you, let them fix you up with your "perfect match". Although the compulsion to match-make stems from caring about the singles in question (not to mention a soupcon of kudos if the romance blossoms), it is an endeavour fraught with peril.

Heather Fenning, of Sydney's Dinner For Six, says successful matchmaking comes down to four factors. "First, make sure the people involved are not averse to being set up and know what is happening," she says. "Then, compare their value systems. These need to be in sync if the relationship has a chance. Opposites don't attract.

"The third factor to take into account is similar life experiences of travel, education, family and so on. Finally, ask yourself whether these people are in the same place: are they both looking for a long-term relationship? Is one on the rebound? Do they have a similar track record?"

Presentation is also important, says Brian Boyce of Melbourne's Tablemates dinner club. "They could have tons of things in common but someone who takes pride in their appearance will not be attracted to someone for whom this is not a priority."

"Your chances of matchmaking success will also be boosted if you put the following technique into play. Place each of the potential partners along three personality spectrums: conservative-alternative, serious-prankster and thinker (introvert)-talker (extrovert). If they are more or less inline, go ahead and make the set-up happen." Then sit back and wait for the sparks to fly.

David Smiedt

 

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STILL RATING WITH THE DATING

PUBLICATION:	Progress Leader
DATE:	14 Feb 2006

 

Online dating may entice lonely Melburnians in the thousands, but the old-fashioned approach of meeting a real person can still win out.
So says Tablemates dating service founder Brian Boyce, who has organised dinner dates for prospective couples since 1994.

Mr Boyce said the internet had opened up arranged dating to a wider audience but it usually provided more “quantity than quality”.

About one in 100 who come to our dates will meet their partner at their first outing, while one in eight will meet a special person, which is a lot better than the chances you would have online,” he said.

“We’re a quality matching dinner club, catering to all types of people.”

After organising a group of six people based on a few areas of compatibility, Mr Boyce meets the people at his office and arranges for them to dine at restaurants in Melbourne’s inner suburbs.

Ashburton-based Tablemates, among thousands of other local businesses, is listed on Leader Newspapers’ new internet search guide, truelocal.com.au

Mr Boyce said the site helped inform people about their local services.

“If you can get a geographical search right, that’s very important,” he said.

“I always go for a local guide when I’m looking for a service that I need.”

For more information on Tablemates, phone 9885 8859.

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CATER FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE NEW TO MELBOURNE.

PUBLICATION:	The Age
DATE:	8 Jul 2006

SINGLES FILE

Melbourne has myriad choices for discerning singles including Dinner Clubs, where members dine out in groups of six - three men and three women - at a range of Melbourne restaurants.

Tablemates dinner club has been introducing singles since it was established by Brian Boyce in 1994.